Is Elopement or Eloping The Right Choice?
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Every single couple has thought about eloping at some point during the wedding planning process… For some people like my friend Maddie, it was the night they got engaged and her mom handed her a 300-person guest list. For others it’s simply because they want the moment to be immortalized between the two of them. Or perhaps a small handful of people who they care about most in this world.
Whatever your reason is for thinking about elopement… Let me tell you. DO IT. (Whenever I capitalize DO IT, I can’t help but think of Shia Lebeouf)
Why should you elope? Well, because unlike my friend Maddie that I mentioned before, you won’t have to decide who gets a plus one even though they’re going to break up with them a month after the wedding. You won’t have to cry over the fact that the reception venue costs $65 a plate. You won’t have to choose between live flowers and the dream dress you’ve had in mind.
It’s the 🎵 beeeest of both worlds 🎵
An elopement lets you have the best of both worlds. You can have an incredibly special and intimate ceremony with you just, an officiant, and a witness. (Along with me of course, because I would love to capture every moment of your elopement.)…
… then when you get back you can have a reception or “Welcome Home ” party to celebrate your recent nuptials! Many couples schedule a shindig for about 8 weeks after they return so they’ll have time to get their images/slideshow back to show at the reception (plus, you get to wear your wedding duds again!).
Another option? Have a “Bon Voyage” party wearing a more casual version of your wedding day attire. People can give you fun travel gifts or bring letters of well wishes for you to bring to read on your wedding day. It’s a unique and fun way to make your loved ones feel included.
Cost of eloping vs a traditional wedding
The average wedding in the US is roughly $30k. If that number terrifies you, one thing that every single bride/groom will tell you is this. The easiest place to cut the costs is by cutting the guest list. The cost for plates of food (or just the cost of the food for a buffet) adds up. For a 100-guest wedding and buying pulled pork fixings/cutlery, etc. at Costco and supplying an average of $3 bottles of wine still added up to nearly $2k.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard a couple say, “The day just flew by! We barely had a chance to take it all in”, I would have many, many dollars. People pulling your attention this way and that (even if you have a planner, it still happens), the naturally elevated nerves, the whole “not seeing each other” thing, it all distracts from you being present and in the moment. You’re always anticipating the next part of the day. With eloping, you are given space to be present and enjoy where you are and what you’re doing with your partner in that current moment.
Some pressure might just be in your head
Let me tell you a secret: if you elope, you won’t actually hurt anyone’s feelings. At least not anyone who truly matters (yes, I said it). If you decide to elope it truly can save so much stress from wedding planning, and if anyone comes to you after the fact and complains that you didn’t have a wedding… Well, you know where they can shove it. JK. But actually, maybe not.
In the end it all comes down to what you and your future spouse want from your wedding day. Either way there is no wrong choice, and the people who love you will always be supportive.
Real talk – no matter how hard you try, you won’t please everyone on your wedding day. So, you might as well focus on making each other happy with your choices and the day that should reflect you. With all my years in the wedding and elopement industry as well as, you know, being an adult human being, I have seen way more people regret their larger wedding than regret an intentional elopement.